【写作】说明文四大“坑”,你掉过几次?

2020/08/05 15:32:42

你的8月还是空调Wi-Fi西瓜模式吗?
还记得当时信誓旦旦立下的暑期备赛Flag吗?
不想在开学前空叹一句“终究是错付了”?
来,跟随备赛课堂坚持学习打卡啦!

 

今日课堂主题:写作之说明文

        说明文是“外研社·国才杯”全国英语写作大赛初复赛考查文体之一,侧重考查选手解说事物、阐明事理的能力,以及运用知识、观察理解、梳理分析、提炼总结、跨文化沟通的综合能力。

        据多年观察,撰写说明文时,小伙伴们极易踩坑而不自知。下面来看看那些年选手们掉下去的“坑”,警惕自己别再犯!


 01 交流目的不明确,主观色彩浓厚


        示例

        题目类型:图表分析
        题目要求:描述及对比两个图表,图表内容分别为percentages of Chinese mobile netizens in different age groups、percentages of different types of apps downloaded in the Android mobile system

        选手作文选段:
        It's not surprising that the majority of Chinese mobile netizens are the 80's generation and the early 90's generation. In a certain sense they're the lucky ones. They're born in a time when China is transforming, when the primal seeds of concept of the Internet were sowed in this old country. No wonder they naturally proceeded to become the pioneers on mobile networks consequently with their open mindsets that are more susceptible to new ideas and technologies.


        解析:上文蓝字的描述是作者的主观感受,带有感情色彩,而说明文的写作目的是用客观的方式向读者有条理地呈现图表中的内容,带有主观感情色彩的描述是大忌噢。

 

 02 Main point不明确,前后不一致


        示例

        题目类型:定义/现象描述
        题目要求:介绍中国父母如何给孩子起名字

        选手作文选段:
        To begin with, the components of a Chinese name are the same, that is, a family name and a given name. In a name, the family name is in accordance with their genealogy. For instance, the widely used family name is "Zhao", "Qian", "Sun", "Li" and so on in Chinese characters. Some family names consist of 2 Chinese characters, for one thing, they are called "doubled family names" like "Ou Yang" in Chinese, for the other, each of these two characters come from their parents respectively and they are combined into a "doubled family name".


        解析:上文蓝字部分中,to begin with引导了一句话,推测应该是这个段落的topic sentence,主要讲汉语名字由family name和given name组成。但是后面整个段落都在讲family name,并未提到given name。段落中的描述与段落开头的topic sentence不相符,造成了前后不一致。

 

 03 信息不准确、无关联


        示例

        题目类型:定义/现象描述
        题目要求:向外国朋友介绍中国的学制

        选手作文选段:
        From 3 to 15 years old, the Chinese school system can be divided into 3 stages: pre-schools, primary schools and secondary schools.
       
        As an adolescence, we step into secondary schools. There are 3 years learning journey.


        解析:上文运用的数据有误。从幼儿园到高中毕业一般不是从3岁到15岁;中学教育并非3年,而是6年。这样不准确的信息直接削弱了说明文的客观性。

        Tips:说明文中的信息至关重要,信息的描述必须准确、客观,并与主题或图表等信息具有高度的关联性,不可天马行空,随意写出与题目要求中无关联的内容。

 

 04 开头未揭示话题、结尾出现新话题


        示例1

        题目类型:图表分析
        题目要求:总结图表信息特点并进行相关比较

 

微信图片_20200805143849

        选手作文选段:
        At the first glance of the chart, the colored lines not only attracts but also amazes me most. Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou are the most developed and advanced cities in China. While to people's surprise, their AQI (air quality index) are more terrible than expected.


        解析:上述选段是一篇作文的开头。在这一开头段落,作者既没有提到图表有何特点,也没有对比图表。读者看完后,并不知道整篇文章要讲的话题到底是什么。


        示例2

        题目类型:定义/现象描述
        题目要求:向外国朋友介绍中国的学制

        选手作文选段:
        The Chinese school system is famous for oceans of exams and strict life, but that's not all of it. We acquire knowledge and enjoy the feeling of being a champion in the exams, we learn to behave ourselves and obey the rules to become a team. All systems have their advantages and disadvantages, and our Chinese school system certainly is not the best for all children. But …


        解析:这个段落是结尾段的描述。文章讲的是中国学制,总结段中蓝字部分却出现了这样的描述:“学制都有优缺点,对所有的孩子来说,中国学制并非都是最好的,但是……”,作者笔锋一转加上一个but,似乎意犹未尽,要开始新话题。这在说明文中是不被允许的。大家要谨记,结尾段的作用是总结上文,因此是绝不能出现新话题的。


以上就是说明文的常见问题啦。
易错问题千百种,如何从根源上规避?
那就是:牢记原则,规范写作!
 

说明文基本原则

   目的:说明、非议论
语气:客观、中立 
信息:可靠、详实 
结构:完整、清晰 
语言:简洁、准确 

本文分享的说明文四大“坑”,你掉过几次?
其他文体的“陷阱”,是不是也落入而不自知?

写作之路“坑”多多,怎样才能轻松跨过?
官方写作备赛资源助你从小白进阶高手!

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(课程链接:http://ucourse.unipus.cn/course/3254)

 


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(课程链接:http://ucourse.unipus.cn/course/3108)