【写作】2015写作大赛季军郭浩辰议论文展示

2016/03/22 09:50:20
2015“外研社杯”全国英语写作大赛议论文赛题
 
Can being positive backfire?
      Optimism provides a multitude of benefits across many facets of life. Researchers have linked looking on the bright side to everything from improved pain tolerance to increased longevity. There’s nodenying the incredible power an optimistic outlook can have on our health, relationships, and performance. But like much in life, it is possible to have too much of a good thing. There are some cases when an overly optimistic outlook can do more harm than good.
      Suppose there is an online discussion forum on the topic “Can being positive backfire?” Write a post to the forum, clearly stating your opinion and supporting your ideas with specific reasons and examples. You should write about 800 words.
 
选手破题思路
 
郭浩辰,2015“外研社杯”全国英语写作大赛季军
 
      看到这个题目的时候,我觉得它和自己的想法是一致的。我也联想到了很多伟大的哲学家、文学家,他们都对人生抱有悲观的态度。所以我的思路是:在不否认乐观对于人生有积极意义的同时,提出我们还可以换一个角度看待生命。也许生命的本质不那么让人愉快,也许生命中的“意义”和“意思”不会如同我们所期待的那样多。
      与其盲目乐观、自我欺骗,不如 come to terms with the brutal reality. “花枝春满,天心月圆”的不悲不喜,才是至高的境界。
 
 
选手佳作展示
 
      文章为从系统摘出的原生作品,目的是展现出选手三个小时内的写作风貌,可能存在部分拼写错误,仅供学习分享使用。
 
      I am a persimist, an incurable persimist. That's probably why I was always told, by kind, encourging people, that "You should have an optimistic outlook on life. Always look at the silver linings!" Without even questioning, I bore that saying in mind and attempted to believe in its positive energy. When suffering setbacks, I used to console myself again and again with those words. Yet my life didn't seem to improve in the slightest just because I tried so hard to be positive. It finally ocurred to me that, being positive is neither a way out of adversity; nor it it capable of directing our life to a brighter tomorrow. Disappointing enough, positivity surely backfires.
      The worst about being positive is that it incapacitates us to prepare for the worst. Optimism is apt to run unbridled and develop into blind optimism. Last year, I took a very important accreditation test, but I screwed it in a very shameful way. That was the consequence of being overly positive.Prior to the test, I did substantial practice but still felt like it would not be a 100% victory. Realizing that, I was overwhelmed by a fit of frustration and fear. Then those words about being positive started to echo in my mind: why think of the worst case scenario? What if the test would be much easier than anticipated? Even if I failed, did it mean the end of the world? After all, there would be endless opportunies ahead. The thought convinced me, so I chose not to push myself too hard, expecting good luck would knock on my door. The result, however, pulverished all my previous positivity: it was, to my astonishment, a two-point miss. I couldn't help thinking that had I shrugged off my blind optimism and taken more efforts, would things be different? This "waterloo" taught me a lesson: being positive is like always betting on one side of the coin tossed by God -- if God does exist. Positivity may thus render us defenseless to unexpected misfortune and leave us vulnerable to the uncertainty of life.
      Some may refute this point by arguing for the signifance of positivity in helping us to tide over hard times, but this notion my be problematic in the first place. When I felt my sky was gray, I thought a rainbow was coming in the way. Yet an arrary of successive gloomy days made my optimistic fantacy like a castle in the air. When I desperately needed a shoulder to cry on, I found that no one could understand my pain and realized that one is destined to walk a lonely road for some time. This is where the pitfall of being positive lies. It offers a tempting yet dangerous presumption that in life, good things are bound to outnumber bad ones. In other words, if life is a journey, it must be a generally pleasant one, despite the trecherous swamps and thrilling thorns, which occassionally get in the way. But what if life is not supposed to be like that? If not contented with the present, we will habitually look ahead for a promising future. This kind of positivity is quite common, if not universal. Such good wishes, however, are neglectful of the very fact that life never goes the way we want: the future may turn out to be even tougher. Compared with being positive, there is a better alternative: assume that life is meant to be hard; take it for granted that the unwanted are more than the wanted. This way, we can appreciate and cherish what's rare in life, such as joy and happiness, and go through the inevitable setbacks in a more composed manner.
      Positivity is not a bad thing in itself, but it's likely to deter us from coping with difficulties and getting a full picture of life. Many literary giants and great philosophers, such as Virginia Woolf and Thourau, may not always restort to positivity in their eventful lives. That's probably because, if one stays positive, that's no worse than seeing the world through stained glasses or a klaidoscope. However beautiful the view appears, it is, at any rate, an illusion. Admittedly, positivity does offer us a good way to shield usselves from the cruel or even brutal reality, yet that cannot always work. It is better to unveil the mask of life and see through its nature of futility and disappointment. In case optimism backfires -- and it certainly will, it is better to go beyond positivity and face squarely the harsh reality.
 
 
往届选手点评
 
牛云凤,2013“外研社杯”全国英语写作大赛冠军
 
      该文最大的亮点是反其道而行之,立意新颖。当大多数人选择中庸之道时,作者却敢于直面题目的冲突,表达自己真正的想法,最真的往往是最能打动人的。
      作者第一段讲述了自己是悲观主义者。听过许多乐观主义的道理,却依然过不好这一生,因为现实中乐观既不能救人于水火,又不能指引人走向人生巅峰。因此得出论点:Disappointing enough, positivity surely backfires. 真的是别出心裁,第一段就能吸引读者的兴趣,让人迫不及待想知道作者如此“悲观”的理由是什么呢?作者给出的第一个理由是 positivity incapacitates us to prepare for the worst. 人们往往期待最好的,却从不做最坏的打算。作者通过自己考试依赖运气而不是努力的“滑铁卢”论证了乐观有时就是用上帝之手抛硬币赌一把,让我们在失败和不幸面前惊慌失措。
      第三段进入驳论阶段。作者认为许多人可能反对他自己的意见,认为乐观可以帮助人们度过难关。作者认为这种普世的观点是经不起推敲的。该段是作者说理性非常强、逻辑非常清晰的一段,作者指出大多数人认为人生的美好一定多于不幸,但实际是人生之不如意十之八九,大多数人都太理想化活在泡沫里。只有我们承认人生的诸多困难时,才会更加珍惜幸福的好时光。这种观点看似悲观,却懂得乐观寓于悲观,悲观是为了更好的乐观,实属难得。
      最后一段稍作总结,指出乐观本身不坏,但如果人们总是戴着有色眼镜或通过万花筒看世界,一切美好都太虚幻。因此我们应该直面人生中的困难与挫折,"in case optimism backfires—and it certainly will".
纵观整篇文章,从立意到结构都绝不循规蹈矩,却也衔接自然,逻辑缜密,让人有一种形散神不散的感觉。
      这也要归功于作者每一段的主旨句。开头引出论点后,2-4段每段第一句都是主旨句,然后循序渐进,逐渐展开,层次分明。
      其次作者非常善于使用插入语、小短句等。长短句错落有致、运用娴熟,而且语言优美。如:This "waterloo" taught me a lesson: being positive is like always betting on one side of the coin tossed by God — if God does exist. 和 "That's probably because, if one stays positive, that's no worse than seeing the world through stained glasses or a kaleidoscope. However beautiful the view appears, it is, at any rate, an illusion. "
      作者reasoning的功力比较好,稍微的不足之处是exemplification略显生疏,结尾有力回应了论点,却未能总结主要论据,也未能展开如何解决问题,仓促结束,使人稍有不尽兴之感。
      但总体来说,作者功力深厚,为我们提供了一篇不错的范文,值得我们学习!