【写作】2016写作大赛冠军王鹏翔记叙文展示 | A Letter to My Hometown

2017/03/21 10:15:11
      Read the beginning of Margaret Atwood's "A Letter to America", which uses a personified style to address the country. Write a letter to an event or an object in your life in a similar personified style, telling the story or stories that happened between the two of you. Please write 600–800 words.
A Letter to America
Dear America,
      This is a difficult letter to write, because I'm no longer sure who you are.
      Some of you may be having the same trouble. I thought I knew you: We'd become well acquainted over the past 55 years. You were the Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck comic books I read in the late 1940s. You were the radio shows—Jack Benny, Our Miss Brooks. You were the music I sang and danced to: the Andrews Sisters, Ella Fitzgerald, the Platters, Elvis. You were a ton of fun.
      刚拿到作文题的时候,我足足把作文要求读了三遍,因为记叙文并不是我擅长的文体。题目要求以加拿大女作家Margaret Atwood的“A Letter to America”为例,要求选手“Write a letter to an event or an object in your life in a similar personified style, telling the story or stories that happened between the two of you.” 由于例子中给的对象是一个国家、一个地点,而我曾经写过类似的文章,就是去描述自己熟悉的一个地方。由于比赛时间紧迫,我毫不犹豫地确定把我的家乡作为写作对象。
A Letter to My Hometown
My dear hometown,
      This is a quite challenging letter to write, because I'm no longer sure who you are.
      I'm certain you share the similar feeling with you, don't you? I had thought I knew you from every inch of your skin: We'd spent time together over the past 20 years. You were the old books and televisions I read and watched in the late 1980s. You were the two longest rivers---Changjiang River(Yangtze) and Yellow River, connecting you and me no matter how far the distance is. You were the popular singers, when whose songs are played beside me, I thought I was on top of the world. You mean everything to me.
      These unforgettable moments keep flashing through my mind, and they finally inspire me to pick up my pen. I still remember the time when I got my first ever compliment from my Mom, you shone like a light house, accompanying me and guiding me wherever I want to go. Seeing the morning dew on the leaves scattering on the floor, I knew that a brand new day was about to come by. I rode on the road to school, apprieciating the beauty all around me, the uneven narrow pavement being the most exciting place I wanted to go to.
      For many years far away from you, there's still a vague image of your appearance anchored in my mind. The most popular stand selling noodles, the splendid paradise for kids to play, the old-style building where people used to chat and play cards with delight... Have they vanished? Do they still stay where it was? A feeling of perplexity overwhelms me.
      Putting the troubles and puzzles at the back of our mind, I cannot helping telling myself that moment when I, as well as my classmates, had scheduled to go far from home to have a picnic, and you welcomed us with bright sunlight shining on our faces, when, on the way, you suddenly treated us a pouring rain. Can you recall that? It was quite annoying to all of us. Curses, depression kept spilling out from our mouths, yet you turn a blind eye to our condition at that moment. Of course we all ended up being wet through, and that experience had taught me a lesson: When you smile, I'd better stay where I am!
      My friends at present keep asking me tons of questions about you, eager to know what exactly you look like, and I just tell them that you are beautiful as you always are. Shouldn't you give me a kiss or a hug? HaHa, I believe we both know how much we matter to each other. But many years have gone by, and we have lost touch for long, are you happy right now? I always keep asking myself this question when I go to bed each day, the complex feeling of missing home haunting me all the time. Awake at night, the pictures of you and me taken in the past, with the park around me, often seem to appear in front of me, as if they were the live ones, but when I reach out my hand, it simply vanishes without any sound.
      I tried to form a clear picture of you, but to no avail. Only the fragments in my mind can remind me of the pleasant time we experienced together, and every now and then, I like to show some old pictures to my friends,'Is she beautiful?'. Having received admiration and jealousy, I feel my mind refreshed and open. We still have time and chance to meet, but why do I say that as if it were a forever farewell? Maybe it's just because you have penetrated into my life. In two months, I'll be heading for you. Do welcome me! I shall get something you've never seen before for you. So do wait for me! 
      关注大赛的U粉儿不难看出,此次大赛的记叙文题目有所创新。以往都是续写,今年的赛题是给出了玛格丽特·阿特伍德的名篇A Letter to America,要求选手同样以拟人化的手法,写一封信给生活中的一件事或一个物体。这无形中增加了不少难度,选手需要有充足的储备知识和生活经历,然后根据题目要求进行完整的文章的创作。
      作者的题目是给家乡的一封信,此立意与题目给出的文章类似。包括作者文章的第一段“This is a quite challenging letter to write, because I'm no longer sure who you are.”和第二段绝大部分内容是临摹范文写的。看得出作者还是比较会寻捷径的,这本也是个非常吸引人的开头。读者会忍不住思考,为什么写这封信会很难以及为什么作者不再能清楚的认识自己的家乡。但由于题目中已经读过,所以效果打了折扣。可能由于时间有限,没能充分发挥想象力。