【写作】说明文写作,你是否会在熟悉中迷失?

  大家好,我们如火如荼的暑期写作备赛群活动已经进入了第二阶段——说明文写作什么?还没加入备赛qq群?文末有群二维码~快来一键加入!

  8月1日我们围绕去年的大赛真题进行了“脑暴”,题目如下:

  Expository Writing(说明文写作)

    Write an essay comparing a Chinese festival and a western festival of your choice. Please note that the two festivals should have something in common and you should introduce both the similarities and differences between the two. Write at least 300 words but no more than 500 words.

 

  面对这道“对比中西方节日”的说明文写作题,群内的小伙伴们脑洞大开~

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  然鹅~我们发现仍然有许多童鞋对说明文感到束手无策,比如分不清说明文与议论文

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  于是我们找来了去年复赛的获奖作文供大家参考:

   Different cultures throughout the world have their unique historical background that contributes to a multitude of distictive customs, as exemplified by festivals. Barely do people associate Chinese festivals with western ones. However, Christmas in western countries and the Chinese Spring Festival show features in common in a sense.

   In terms of similarities, family renuion and mirth of gatherings are the main themes of Christmas and the Spring Festival. During these two festivals, family members show a ardent desire to return home and hold family parties even if they live far from their home. In China, airports, train and coach stations are crowded with passengers who come all the way from their workplaces to hometowns even though it is a long and arduous journey a few days or weeks before the Spring Festival. Similarly, before Christmas, one can see a spectacular scene in American highways and epressways in main cities because most of them work in metropolis and they head for their home that is always located away from busy city centres.

   Another common feature is the colour of clothes they wear during two festive days. That is red outfits. In Chrismas, people in western countries often wear red sweaters, hats, gloves and even socks, and they think the colour, red, represents Christmas Father because he impresses people by his light red coat and hat with a red bag filled with intriguing presents for children. By the same token, red stands for vigor, optimism and dynamism in China so Chinese people often wear red clothes or those with hue of red to show the festivity and happiness on the Spring Festival.

   With regard to differences, it is obvious that their origins are utterly different. The Spring Festival, the beginning of the whole year in Chinese lunar calendar, can be dated back to thousands of years ago when farmers celebrated the onset of the year and harvest they gained. In contrast, Christmas originates from the background of Christianity to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. On top of that, decoration is not identical at all. Before Christmas, people will place artificial Christmas trees beside furnace and fireplace and they will hang misltoes on the door. In comparison, Chinese people will paste couplets by side of the door and "Fu" (a Chinese character with auspicious implication) upside down in the hope that luck will soon come to them.

   Although western and Chinese festivals are not the same, but they are never completely incompatible and different. Subtle connections can be found if one links them together.

(所选取例子为学生原始作文,可能存在部分错误)

 

  在说明文写作中,有哪些常见问题呢?一起来看看吧:

  问题一:交流目的不明确,主观色彩浓厚

  例子:It’s not surprising that the majority of Chinese mobile netizens are the 80’s generation and the early 90’s generation. In a certain sense they’re the lucky ones. They’re born in a time when China is transforming, when the primal seeds of concept of the Internet were sowed in this old country. No wonder they naturally proceeded to become the pioneers on mobile networks consequently with their open mindsets that are more susceptible to new ideas and technologies.

  解析:这是一段描述图表的文字,色字体的描述都是作者的主观感受,带有感情色彩,而说明文的写作目的是用客观的方式向读者有条理地呈现图表中的内容,带有主观感情色彩的描述是禁忌哦。

 

  问题二:main point不明确,前后不一致

  例子:To begin with, the components of a Chinese name are the same, that is, a family name and a given name. In a name, the family name is in accordance with their genealogy. For instance, the widely used family name is "Zhao", "Qian", "Sun", "Li" and so on in Chinese characters. Some family names consist of 2 Chinese characters, for one thing, they are called "doubled family names" like "Ou Yang" in Chinese, for the other, each of these two characters come from their parents respectively and they are combined into a "doubled family name".

  解析:这篇作文的题目要求是Name giving,这段文字是整篇作文中的一个段落。蓝色字体的部分中,to begin with引导了一句话,推测应该是这个段落的topic sentence,主要讲的是汉语名字由family namegiven name组成。但是我们再往下读就会发现,整个段落一直在讲family name,并没有提到given name,段落中的描述与段落开头的topic sentence并不相符,造成了前后不一致。

 

  问题三: 信息不准确、无关联

  例:From 3 to 15 years old, the Chinese school system can be divided into 3 stages: pre-schools, primary schools and secondary schools.

    …

    As an adolescence, we step into secondary schools. There are 3 years learning journey.

  解析:这篇作文的题目要求是向外国朋友介绍中国的学制。但是从幼儿园到高中毕业不是从3岁到15岁;第二个段落,中学教育也不是3年,应该是6年。这样不准确的信息直接导致了说明文客观性的减弱。

  Tips:说明文中的信息至关重要,信息的描述必须要是准确、客观的,并且与主题或图表等信息具有高度的关联性,不可以天马空,随意写出与题目要求中无关联的内容。

 

  问题四:开头未揭示话题、结尾出现新话题

  例一:At the first glance of the chart, the colored lines not only attracts but also amazes me most. Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou are the most developed and advanced cities in china. While to people's surprise, their AQI (air quality index) are more terrible than expected.

  解析:这是一篇作文的开头,这篇作文的题目要求是需要作者总结图表的特点,并且对比两个图表。从这个开头来看,作者既没有提到图表有何特点,也没有对比图表,读者在看过开头段后,并不知道整篇文章要讲的话题到底是什么。

 

  再来看一个结尾段的例子:

  例二:The Chinese school system is famous for oceans of exams and strict life, but that‘s not all of it. We acquire knowledge and enjoy the feeling of being a champion in the exams, we learn to behave ourselves and obey the rules to become a team. All systems have their advantages and disadvantages, and our Chinese school system certainly is not the best for all children. But …

  解析:这个题目要求向外国朋友介绍中国的学制,这个段落是结尾段的描述来看色字体的部分,文章本来讲的是中国学制,但是总结段中却出现了这样的描述:“所有的学制都有优缺点,中国的学制并非对所有的孩子来说都是最好的,但是……”,毫无疑问这是前文都没有提到的新话题,作者笔锋一转再加上一个but,似乎意犹未尽,要开始新话题,这在说明文中也是不被允许的。一定要谨记,结尾段的作用是总结上文,因此是绝对不可以出现新话题。

 

以上四种常见问题,你“中枪”了几种?

写作时是否落入了N多陷阱却浑然不知?

怎样才能轻松应对写作四大文体?

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